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An Elizabethan do-gooder is framed for his father's murder and takes refuge with the most notorious thieves in England. When their leader is captured, he must choose: join them and return to the scene of the crime, or run away and remain an outlaw.
Hi Legend_of, the beginning of your logline sounds interesting but then the second part is quite puzzling. Your character seems to either way become a criminal so what is really at stake ? Who's the antagonist in your main character's journey ? Ok it'll sound cliche but creating a character that wouRead more
Hi Legend_of,
the beginning of your logline sounds interesting but then the second part is quite puzzling. Your character seems to either way become a criminal so what is really at stake ? Who’s the antagonist in your main character’s journey ?
Ok it’ll sound cliche but creating a character that would hold back the do-gooder from running away like for example the daughter of the thieves leader or maybe a younger sibling that needs his care and make him want to fight and find out the real murderer could make us see the character’s struggles and make stakes higher.
What would he gain from running away ? Finding support from family away and heal himself from the pain o his father’s passing, saving his life because his father’s murderer is on to kill him …
It sounds promising but things are missing to make it exciting and thrilling to look forward to watching it.
See lessA corrupt, rural sheriff is pressured by his drug-lord bosses to protect their enterprise from the FBI while helping the feds search for an abducted girl.
I can sense an interesting story and tension hidden in this logline. You need to reshuffle and restructure this logline at least 10 times and believe me it will be quite fun to the possibilities. My suggestion would be to put your protagonist in a position where he has to choose between his duty/ vaRead more
I can sense an interesting story and tension hidden in this logline. You need to reshuffle and restructure this logline at least 10 times and believe me it will be quite fun to the possibilities.
My suggestion would be to put your protagonist in a position where he has to choose between his duty/ values and the dirty business he is in.
Example: A corrupt rural sheriff’s life comes under jeopardy when he has to decide between his duty and the dirty business of protecting his drug lord.
See lessPeople spend too much time living and working for the system and forget about themselves and their dreams. Follow Your Dreams!
I think your lines do not perfectly fit the structure of an intriguing logline. It's more like an opinion rather than a logline. There is no mention of any protagonist and his motive or any hint of the situation to create any curiosity. Example: Boarded and tired of his routine job, a young softwareRead more
I think your lines do not perfectly fit the structure of an intriguing logline. It’s more like an opinion rather than a logline. There is no mention of any protagonist and his motive or any hint of the situation to create any curiosity.
Example: Boarded and tired of his routine job, a young software engineer accidentally discovers his true calling and embarks on an adventure of his lifetime.
See less