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A miner investigating a vein of gold must bring his team of five back to safety when a string of seemingly paranormal occurrences drives the men to insanity.
Absolutely intrigued!
Absolutely intrigued!
See lessWhen it seems his past will destroy his future, a successful young man turns vigilante.
Hi! I'm not a pro in logline so this is just my opinion. Using the verb "seems" feels unclear and it feels like your logline is missing a real clear action. I don't understand the reason why he turns vigilante. What is going to change for him by doing that? I would say: When a successful young man rRead more
Hi!
I’m not a pro in logline so this is just my opinion.
Using the verb “seems” feels unclear and it feels like your logline is missing a real clear action. I don’t understand the reason why he turns vigilante. What is going to change for him by doing that?
I would say: When a successful young man realizes that his past will destroy his future, he turns vigilante and helps/ do something…. in order to ….
something like that.
Hope it helps 🙂
See lessA mechanic's apprentice recovers a magical artifact, which makes him a target for demonic soldiers and a bounty hunter, and struggles to escape to a safe haven without being tracked there or losing the artifact.
Maybe just to make it a little bit more active: After a mechanic's apprentice recovers a magical artifact, he becomes the target of both a bounty hunter and demonic soldiers, he has x amount of time to get the artifact to a safe house before the bad guys do x to him.
Maybe just to make it a little bit more active:
After a mechanic’s apprentice recovers a magical artifact, he becomes the target of both a bounty hunter and demonic soldiers, he has x amount of time to get the artifact to a safe house before the bad guys do x to him.
See less