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Struggling to rise up after a traumatic injury, a man becomes a firefighter. Hindered by extreme medical issues from the incident, he fights for both his job and a woman across the country.
Story, especial for the screen, is best thought of in finite terms. In other words, you need to define a starting point - inciting incident, and an end point - goal. Right now the revised draft of the logline describes an endless situation - he will continue to fight for the job and women to no end.Read more
Story, especial for the screen, is best thought of in finite terms. In other words, you need to define a starting point – inciting incident, and an end point – goal. Right now the revised draft of the logline describes an endless situation – he will continue to fight for the job and women to no end.
As DPG advised, best to structure a logline around an event that motivates the main character to need to achieve a particular goal.
See lessIn a world run by machines, a timid young woman – holding a vital secret – must regain her ability to speak before everything she loves is destroyed.
I think this has great potential. What kind of machines? Is it only machines in the story? or do humans still have control? What is the secret she holds?
I think this has great potential. What kind of machines? Is it only machines in the story? or do humans still have control? What is the secret she holds?
See lessWhen the most trusting man in America journeys to Nigeria to collect his expected inheritance promised to him in an e-mail by a prince, he must overcome bitter reality and find his prince in order to see the good in people once again.
Is too big a call to label him the most trusting man in America.? How can to substantiate that?? I guess he is over-trusting.? Or naive or gullible.It seems "journey to Nigeria" and "find his prince" are one in the same, so no need to repeat it.Why is he "his" prince?? Instead of "a" prince.? Does hRead more
Is too big a call to label him the most trusting man in America.? How can to substantiate that??
I guess he is over-trusting.? Or naive or gullible.
It seems “journey to Nigeria” and “find his prince” are one in the same, so no need to repeat it.
Why is he “his” prince?? Instead of “a” prince.? Does he own him? ? If you are implying that he needs to find a metaphorical prince (to find “good in people”), it’s not clear.
I wouldn’t mention “email” – it’s too confusing.
Cheers,
See lesshope this is useful 🙂