1. Posted: October 6, 2016In:

    An aspiring horror filmmaker stumbles upon and films a fairy-tale copy-cat murder, but when no charges are pressed, he must try to stop another murder.

    Knightrider Mentor

    For me, I get a little lost when you mention he films a murder, but yet there are no charges? Even with a very corrupt justice system, you'd at least expect a charge if they were caught on camera. Granted, they may still get off, but I am left wondering why being caught on camera you can escape a muRead more

    For me, I get a little lost when you mention he films a murder, but yet there are no charges? Even with a very corrupt justice system, you’d at least expect a charge if they were caught on camera. Granted, they may still get off, but I am left wondering why being caught on camera you can escape a murder charge.

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  2. Posted: September 23, 2016In:

    When their doppelg?ngers skip-out on a caf? bill, an elegant Man and Woman sift through notebooks and dust impressions to determine who will pay.

    Neer Shelter Singularity

    Hi SouthWestSusie You can post your loglines in any genre?they fit in regardless the classes you're attending. If you wish to revise an existing logline, follow DPG's explanation above. However, if you feel as though you've significantly changed a logline and or it has fallen too far back in older pRead more

    Hi SouthWestSusie

    You can post your loglines in any genre?they fit in regardless the classes you’re attending. If you wish to revise an existing logline, follow DPG’s explanation above. However, if you feel as though you’ve significantly changed a logline and or it has fallen too far back in older pages then you can post it in a new thread.

    We only ask that you not post the same logline a fresh in a new thread with each change you make – the idea is then more people can see how it progressed and learn from it.

    As for this logline.

    The plot is unclear; who are the couple that run out on the bill? Who are the elegant man and woman? How does their sifting through note books have any impact on the cafe bill? What is at stake?

    There are too many questions raised in this logline, and as a result it causes confusion instead of intrigue.
    Think of a logline as a linear description of the major events in a story:
    A significant event motivates a flawed main character to take action in order to achieve a compelling goal.

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  3. Posted: September 20, 2016In:

    When a gifted nostalgia caseworker disappears, a Man and Woman use their third-mind to relate clues sifted via ghost impressions rising from the dust around them.

    dpg Singularity

    SouthWestSusie,I neglected to say that I think using Burrough's "third mind" as a narrative device would be a neat trick to pull off in the script proper. ?Particularly since Burroughs got the idea from how ?a causal narrative is constructed in movies. ?But, alas, I fear it's too obscure a referenceRead more

    SouthWestSusie,

    I neglected to say that I think using Burrough’s “third mind” as a narrative device would be a neat trick to pull off in the script proper. ?Particularly since Burroughs got the idea from how ?a causal narrative is constructed in movies. ?But, alas, I fear it’s too obscure a reference for most people to get in a logline. ?Transport ?the “third mind” technique on the rails of a strong story line in the script and I think you would have the makings of an interesting movie.

    Best wishes.

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