Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
Two fed-up women take off for a weekend getaway but when one is almost raped and the other kills the guy the holiday turns into a road trip to escape to Mexico.
As Nir Shelter said, SouthWestSusie, a logline should lead off with the inciting incident.One thing your logline was on the right track to do was to frame the reversal of fortune, their initial expectation/goal (weekend getaway) in contrast to how events play out (a ?road trip to escape...). ?I chanRead more
As Nir Shelter said, SouthWestSusie, a logline should lead off with the inciting incident.
One thing your logline was on the right track to do was to frame the reversal of fortune, their initial expectation/goal (weekend getaway) in contrast to how events play out (a ?road trip to escape…). ?I changed ?”road trip” to “crime spree” because that is what their flight becomes and it ?worsens their predicament, ?ultimately seals their fate.
See lessA spunky, plump girl (6) pursues her quest to win a beauty-pageant, and in the process her family unite and each transforms into his/her higher self.
Oh! ?THAT movie. ?"Little Miss Sunshine".Well, obviously, that's a different story. But the same rule applies: ?no spoilers, don't give away the ending.So something like: A dysfunctional family of losers takes a cross-country trip in a barely functioning VW bus so their plucky seven-year-old daughteRead more
Oh! ?THAT movie. ?”Little Miss Sunshine”.
Well, obviously, that’s a different story. But the same rule applies: ?no spoilers, don’t give away the ending.
So something like:
A dysfunctional family of losers takes a cross-country trip in a barely functioning VW bus so their plucky seven-year-old daughter can participate in a beauty pageant.
(26 words)
The daughter getting the “call” to participate in the pageant is the inciting incident. ?But she’s not the sole protagonist; it’s an ensemble film about the whole family, their failed dreams and failed ?relationships.
[FYI: Loglines for existing movies, the usual practice is to post them under the “Classics”. ?And name the movie.]
See lessWhen a wildly out of control teenager is kicked out of home, he escapes to LA with a mission to be famous only to be sucked into a vortex of crystal meth addiction, gay porn and prostitution but when he nearly dies from an overdose he undergoes a gruelling rehabilitation program in Bali with the only chance he has left to save his life.
Agreed with the above, as noted on the previous drafts of this logline, there are too many plot elements mentioned and too many descriptions used.Another major problem with this logline is in the concept. I still can't?see (after the many iterations) a logical connection, or in other words a motivatRead more
Agreed with the above, as noted on the previous drafts of this logline, there are too many plot elements mentioned and too many descriptions used.
Another major problem with this logline is in the concept. I still can’t?see (after the many iterations) a logical connection, or in other words a motivating element, in the inciting incident. How does getting kicked out of his parent’s house motivate him to have to become a porn star/famous person or to travel to Bali to save his own life. Drug addiction, yes I get it, but that does not have a direct causality with the inciting incident, rather it’s another obstacle on his way and likely not in act 1.
If for example his goal would be to prove to his parent or father that he can be successful without their help, and to achieve this he decides to “make it in LA” then the connection is made. However in this instance I would find this character both naive
and silly.
I think you have an interesting character with many flaws – drug addiction, alcohol addiction, low self esteem and a lack of focus in life.
See lessBest if you were to break the concept down to its bare essentials – how does this flawed character logically get motivated to do what?