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When a financial analyst who only lives for work meets her true love, a laidback skateboarder, over a late night release party she wakes up next day realizing she got pregnant. In love as she is she decides to move in together with her newly found love and start family life. Though, to handle everyday family-life after 20 years as a workaholic puts her whole self-image back at work at stake!
Karel's edit is good, mainly because it 'skates' over the fact that she discovers she is pregnant the day after having sex..?? Didn't know that this was physically possible. I also agree with Nir in that the MC's goal is very unclear -- you have a set-up with no clear idea of what the MC actually waRead more
Karel’s edit is good, mainly because it ‘skates’ over the fact that she discovers she is pregnant the day after having sex..?? Didn’t know that this was physically possible. I also agree with Nir in that the MC’s goal is very unclear — you have a set-up with no clear idea of what the MC actually wants or has to do – I always think it’s best to start with knowing the goal and the obstacle should be born from that.
Best of luck.
See lessA Financial Analyst working for 20 years finds herself in a peculiar situation after a one-night stand she won?t forget. Elise finds herself in love with Joe who is a laidback skater who , as carefree and the complete opposite of thw workaholic Elise, is now finding out that love is harder as a couple living together. The challanges at new love, the challanges of a new life in a new relationship now has a surprise. A baby on the way, this forces Elise choose between work and family life. To get time for both she decides to bring her baby with her to work at Wallstreet!
Lose everything before "... choose between work and family life."?That's all garbage. Essentially, you need ONE inciting incident. Then you're going to get something like: When a workaholic Financial Analyst falls?pregnant after their?one night stand, her boss gives her an ultimatum,?keep the?baby oRead more
Lose everything before “… choose between work and family life.”?That’s all garbage.
Essentially, you need ONE inciting incident.
Then you’re going to get something like:
When a workaholic Financial Analyst falls?pregnant after their?one night stand, her boss gives her an ultimatum,?keep the?baby or keep?her?dream job on Wall Street.
See lessWhen the normalcy of an overly meticulous statistical analyst is disrupted by the appearance of a small cloud above his head, he must find a way to get rid of it before his crititcal work presentation.
Why must he remove it before?the presentation?? It may be an annoyance, but what threat does it pose? And what's at stake in the "critical" presentation?? Is his job on the line?? A promotion?
Why must he remove it before?the presentation?? It may be an annoyance, but what threat does it pose?
And what’s at stake in the “critical” presentation?? Is his job on the line?? A promotion?
See less