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After a NDE a social media executive weighted with the ability to see past lives and now tasked with healing her “soul family” uses her position to embed herself in the lives of those around her to circumvent karma that foreshadows current life situations that could tragically repeat past life patterns.
Way too long and with rather poor grammar, plus the apparent inciting incident is an abbreviation without explanation...how is anyone supposed to understand the character or story if they don't know what NDE means? I personally have no clue what that's supposed to stand for, but it must be importantRead more
Way too long and with rather poor grammar, plus the apparent inciting incident is an abbreviation without explanation…how is anyone supposed to understand the character or story if they don’t know what NDE means? I personally have no clue what that’s supposed to stand for, but it must be important as it’s the first thing mentioned…though starting a logline with “After” makes it sound like that event isn’t even in the story. Just give us the major elements in as short a sentence as is clear and proper.
See lessA despondent social media planner weighted with a newfound ability to see past lives is forced to confront her karma and that of everyone she knows or remain condemned to repeat their same mistakes for an eternity.
"forced to confront" - what does that look like on screen? Film is a visual medium so everything in the logline must be something we can imagine seeing on screen. If the inciting incident is her developing the ability to see everybody's past lives, her goal needs to be closely related to that. ProblRead more
“forced to confront” – what does that look like on screen? Film is a visual medium so everything in the logline must be something we can imagine seeing on screen.
If the inciting incident is her developing the ability to see everybody’s past lives, her goal needs to be closely related to that. Problem is, that is something very difficult to visualise on screen. What does a woman seeing everyone’s past lives look like. More importantly, what goal does it set up? I’m guessing, since this is a TV show, that every episode will focus on a specific person she encounters? Then there’ll be an overarching story about her own past lives etc. Is that right?
So, with that in mind, you need to consider a visual goal that this can set up. “Confront her karma” is not a visual goal. That’s more the internal arc, similar to Eleanor in The Good Place – she’s confronted with how horrible she was in life. So your protagonist’s goal, if she’s acting benevolently is going to be to help these people, and this in turn helps herself. Could she become a “past lives therapist” or something? Offer her services to people who come to her for help. Maybe, rather than despondent, she’s selfish. Her offering these services for money starts her off as doing something purely for personal gain, she needs the cash. But over the course of Season 1, she starts changing internally and gets invested in other people’s lives. She wants to help them. Then, maybe have it so all the way through season 1, she only deals with other people’s past lives, but on the last episode she’s faced with her own. She needed to change enough to be able to see it.
“A selfish social media influencer discovers the ability to see people’s past lives and uses her status to set up a “former lives therapy” clinic to monetise her gift but becomes increasingly absorbed in her patients’ past.”
I have no idea if this is the story you want to tell, but I would watch this show!
Hope this helps in some way.
See lessAfter a near-death experience awakens a hopeless woman’s power to see peoples karmic past, she realizes their fates are intertwined and in order to release everyone from impending life destroying behaviors she must overcome her own insecurities while battling her abusive and manipulative mother.
Hi Kimberly, I'll give this a go. After a near-death experience awakens a hopeless woman’s power to see peoples karmic past, she realizes their fates are intertwined and in order to release everyone from impending life destroying behaviors she must overcome her own insecurities while battling her abRead more
Hi Kimberly,
I’ll give this a go.
After a near-death experience awakens a hopeless woman’s power to see peoples karmic past, she realizes their fates are intertwined and in order to release everyone from impending life destroying behaviors she must overcome her own insecurities while battling her abusive and manipulative mother.
— Got quite a mouthful here. Lets chop it down a bit.
Intention: must release everyone from impending life destroying behaviors – the more active goal.
must overcome her own insecurities – the subjective/emotional goal. I think we need to go with the more active goal in this logline.
Obstacle: abusive mother?
I don’t quite understand her goal of “release everyone from impending life destroying behaviours”? I think we need to be clearer. Oh – and to keep it simple too.
Attempt 1:
After a near-death experience leaves her with the ability to look into people’s pasts,
a woman must help (several victims of a traumatic incident? a group of people with a shared trauma? survivors of a traumatic incident? I dunno. When you mentioned impending life destroying behaviours – I immediately thought alcoholic or drug addicts and then I figured PTSD. Perhaps they’re all dealing with the aftermath of some traumatic past incident.)
or else. (??? what happens if she doesn’t do this? what are the stakes? what happens if decides to walk away?)
Notes:
I think you need to keep it on one track. Things like her own insecurities and the mother don’t really belong in the logline. Perhaps in the overall plot but not the logline.
I hope some of this helps.
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