Uberwriter
Posted: 2017-04-11T07:28:03+10:00 In:

1892 Mycroft Holmes newly appointed to MI5 investigates a plan to undermine England’s position in Afghanistan not knowing the villains are a young Sherlock and Moriarty.

1892 Mycroft Holmes newly appointed to MI5 investigates a plan to undermine England’s position in Afghanistan not knowing the villains are a young Sherlock and Moriarty.
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    6 Reviews

    1. Best Answer
      Singularity

      >>>to undermine England?s position in Afghanistan

      Looking backward from the present tense of the perspective and sensibility of modern movie viewers, wouldn’t that make S&M heroes, not villains?

      >>investigates a plan

      Only investigate?

      Isn’t his objective goal to stop their heroic action? ?Whatever it is — that needs to be more specific, too. ?Exactly how do they plan to “undermine” the Evil Empire ?in that region? ?And exactly what must Mycroft do about it?

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    2. Best Answer
      Uberwriter

      1892 Mycroft Holmes newly appointed to MI5 investigates a plan to undermine England?s position in Afghanistan meant to trigger a war with Russia not knowing the villains are a young Sherlock and Moriarty.

      • 0
    3. Best Answer
      Singularity

      If Sherlock is the lead character, the logline should be written from his point of view.
      ——————————————–
      “When his father is appointed by MI5 to investigate a plan to undermine England, Sherlock Homes and his best friend Moriarty must deter his dads investigation all while sabotaging England’s plans for Afghanistan”?

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    4. Best Answer
      Uberwriter

      Thanks Richiev here are three version

      1. When Mycroft Holmes is appointed by MI5 to investigate a plan to undermine England, Sherlock ?and his best friend Moriarty must deter his investigation all while sabotaging England?s plans for Afghanistan
      or

      2. A young Sherlock Holmes and Moriarty plan to undermine England?s holdings in the east to profit from deals in Russia, while Mycroft Holmes is tasked by MI5 find who is responsible, not knowing their involvement.

      or

      3. Sherlock Holmes competitive and resentful of his brother Mycroft sets out with James Moriarty to undermine England?s holding in Afghanistan when Mycroft is appointed by to MI5 to monitor the region.

      I am leaning towards 3 as it brings in motivation, which leads to tone.

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    5. Best Answer
      Singularity

      Here is a look at the second logline example you wrote:

      2. “A young Sherlock Holmes and Moriarty plan to undermine England?s holdings in the east to profit from deals in Russia, while Mycroft Holmes is tasked by MI5 find who is responsible, not knowing their involvement.“
      ——————
      I like this version and would only make a small change or two
      ——————-
      “Master criminal Sherlock Homes and sidekick Moriarty plan to get rich by undermining England’s holdings in the east, but must outwit his genius brother, Mycroft who has been appointed by MI5 to monitor the region.”
      ——————-

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    6. Best Answer
      Singularity

      ?Master criminal Sherlock Homes and sidekick Moriarty plan to get rich by undermining England?s holdings in the east, but must outwit mother’s favorite and oh-so-genius brother, Mycroft who has been appointed by MI5 to monitor the region.?

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