The truth about nothing in particular
(1930 – rural France) While growing up, a solitary boy, tries to make sense of life by making toy models of the world around him. The chance encounters he has with a roaming peddler changes his look on life forever.
Share
The key to a good logline is creating a story, not theme. No need to include (1930 – rural France).
We know the boy is going to grow up, and also instead of saying “tries to make sense…” you could convey it quicker and easier with ” When a confused, solitary boy starts making toys, he encounters a gypsy peddler that changes his outlook.”. Try to be direct and simplify your idea, this helps the reader to relate and understand your idea / concept stronger and quicker.
I hope this helps : )
Thanks for the comment Torie.
a few things though:
– he does not make all kinds of toys, just models of his village, models that play a major part in the story.
– he is not confused (then again maybe we all are confused)
– “when he starts making toys he encounters” implies that when he would not have started this toy making thing he would not have encountered the peddler (who is by no means a Gipsy) The 2 things are not related in that way. He would have made toys even if the never met peddler.
– The boy we follow is in act one 8 years – act 2 he’s 16 – act 3 he’s 21…. Should i just leave that out… ?
I get the drift of making it more direct, but how to keep it true to the story.
kind regards
Kim