Thriller 🙂
21 Years and 3 murders later the nightmare ends, and the story of a battered young man can be told.
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I think this sets the background of the story up nicely, but doesn’t really give a solid indication of what the actual story will be about. Basically, I find it hard to picture just where this story will take me – is it a retelling from the present POV, or is it about moving on from trauma? It could be something else entirely. This is more a teaser than a logline.
21 Years and 3 murders later the nightmare ends, and the story of a battered young man can be told.
The first part of the sentence sounds like a perfect tag line.
This is not a logline, Dr. Lecter… Check out our section on how to write them , then come back and give it another go. It’s worth it.
I think you should give a little more detail about the nightmare, as well as the battered young man. I’m no expert, but this logline leave little to the imagination. Is the murders dealing with revenge, or maybe something that took place when he was a teenager.
Check out this link: https://loglines.org/howto/. It helped me a lot with writing my loglines. 🙂