2366: Earth is on the verge of collapse and the wealthy Convert themselves into android bodies for life extension to travel to New Earth, 103 years away. When Conversion for a corrupt detective finds him malfunctioning on a garbage tip and his family nowhere in sight he has three days to repair his body, find his family and get on the ship to New Earth before it leaves.

Cool concept, messy logline.
All of that futuristic stuff, while necessary to understand the story ultimately, isn’t going to do anything to help sell script (probably), or help you identify the story for yourself while you work through your script.

Go back to the basics of the logline; What is the inciting incident, or event? When he wakes up on a garbage heap?

Who is your protagonist? The mind of a corrupt detective in a malfunctioning robot body. (But in essence, a corrupt detective).

What is his goal? To repair his body and get to the starship before he launches, or lose his family for ever.

By stripping it back to the central human components, you should be able to trim it back AND keep it compelling. So I would suggest:

When he wakes to find himself in the body of a malfunctioning robot, a corrupt detective must race against time to repair himself and find his family, before they are whisked away forever on an interstellar starship.

I think the danger with ending on “New Earth” is that it begs questions that the reader doesn’t have the answers to. Does this make someone want to find out more? Possibly. Could the same thing achieved without? For instance, ‘board the final voyage leaving his dying world’

The reason I wouldn’t include that part anyway, is that you want to keep the stakes as high and primal as possible. The repair of the body is not particularly primal, but it feeds into the setup of a malfunctioning body (already stated). It’s a hurdle that will need to be overcome before the end of the story.

But the REALLY primal stakes that anyone can identify with, it doesn’t matter what culture or where in the world they’re from, or whether they like science fiction or not, is the FEAR OF LOSING ONE’S FAMILY. That’s the thing that makes you want the hero to succeed. Being left behind … I guess that’s pretty scary, but I think it’s harder to relate to, and it might confuse the reader (of the logline – not of the script) as to what wil happen if he fails. Because he would get left behind, but what would make that sting WORSE is to lose the family.

Yeah, a dump. A pile of garbage. It’s an Australian term – good pick up, might not be universally recognised.