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nicolesigaudLogliner
(4th revision) 3000 BC: a hybrid child, despised by the world, is adopted by a genie; causing his stepfater’s damnation, he must redeem himself and become the god of the dead, Anubis.
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The word “hybrid” needs to be defined better.? It’s a hybrid half-human, half-genie?? Or half something else?? The genie adopting him caused his stepfather’s damnation?? This business of “becoming the god of the dead? Anubis” seems like such a non-sequitur.? Does he redeem himself by becoming this god of the dead, like old relatives calling you up after you win the lottery?? Maybe something closer to:
Shunned for his half-genie lineage, a child must redeem himself in the eyes of his stepfather by becoming Anubis, the god of the dead.
Scott, I was reading previous versions, and I believe the hybrid is that of, half-wolf, half-human. But it isn’t explained well in this version.
Also, not sure how the main character being adopted leads to his stepfather’s damnation, the correlation between the two events isn’t easy to see and also not explained.
But I do think the story is interesting. And I think if the logline were as interesting as the story, it would definitely help sell this.