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Put yourself in a producer?s shoes. Is this story $500 or $5,000,000.
I know everyone has said this. You have a bounty hunter and nothing else in the logline.
btw, After reading your logline I saw that is was categorized as a ‘western’, had I not read the category, I would never have known that the story took place in the old west.
You might want to add a detail like, Dodge city, or six-shooter, into your logline in order to let a reader know from the logline itself that it takes place in the old west.
An easy fix.
This is way too vague to hook a reader.
“A bounty hunter in search of a wanted man” is exactly what all bounty hunters do, so you are describing every single bounty hunter in the world, nothing sticks out about this character.
“Finds more than he bargained for…” again, this could be a hundred dollar bill on the street or a great new place to drink coffee, or his long lost father.
So if you want the logline to hook the reader, I would add a few specifics and it will help your logline greatly.
finds more than he bargained for.
They always do.? That’s standard operating procedure, the nature of complications in drama.? The protagonist always underestimates how difficult the job is going to be.? Always encounters problems, risks, setbacks that he did not anticipate.
So what is unique about the complication in this plot?? And what, specifically, must he do about it?
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Check out the guidelines for writing a logline.
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