Blood and Fire
A brash missionary and a local gang must set aside their feud and defend their village against a violent drug cartel.
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Thanks Steven… that’s an interesting direction you’ve taken – one I haven’t considered. I’d always understood loglines to be a kind of a practical description of the story (“cut the bull son, and just tell me what it’s about”), but your suggestion is obviously much more evocative. I like it.
Fundamentally, I see this as having legs. That two bickering rivals have to unite to face a greater threat has a classic story quality to it. The main thing that the logline lacks is a bit of atmosphere. A little more to imply either the tone of the film or to tell us a bit more about the protagonist. Mind you, “brash missionary” is an interesting and unexpected character description. Top marks for that!
In terms of a practical suggestion, here’s how you might go: “Bleeding bodies appear in the morning in a once-quiet village. Even a brash missionary can see that this is not the work of a local gang he despises. A cartel is coming to town …”
Steven Fernandez (Judge)
That a missionary and a gang would be at odds seems self-evident, so I don’t think detailing the feud is necessary for the logline. I wonder at the choice of ‘brash’ for the missionary. Not saying it couldn’t work in the actual story, but it seems like the wrong note in the log line if you are setting these 2 parties up as opposites (which works.) Maybe something like ‘hard working’, ‘dedicated’, or ‘brave’ or something along those lines?
The one thing I think is missing is what exactly is the violent drug cartel trying to do here. So maybe “…must set aside their feud and defend their village against a violent drug cartel bent on…”
I just noticed the ‘making an example part’ after writing the second paragraph! That is better, but still a somewhat vague statement?
It definitely fills out? the original logline and everybody gets to be involved?.
It definitely “fills out” the original logline and everybody gets to be “involved”.
Hey Lucius – thanks for the comment. I hadn’t considered adding the source of the conflict before, so that’s an interesting note. How about something along these lines:
“When a brash missionary and his young family reopen a long abandoned church, it starts to threaten the dominance of a local gang, but when the gang take their revenge, they unwittingly provoke a violent drug cartel hellbent on making an example of the whole village.”
I’m interested, but would like to know the matter behind the original feud. I’m not sure if knowing would make a difference, but I would like to see this logline with that part mentioned for comparison.