Party Undead
A carefree college student attempts to host a huge party for his friends during the initial days of a zombie outbreak.
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Ok.
Icebreed2006:
I have come to have a totally different take of your story, it seems. But it’s your story, so I know what else to say. Except suggest that you rewind the thread and review the basic building blocks of your logline.
What is the inciting incident? (The party can be the scene of the inciting incident, but I just don’t see how it can be the incident that triggers the rest of the plot.)
As a result of the inciting incident, what must the protagonist do — or else?
Is there a ticking clock?
Is there a stakes character?
* Another antagonistic human force.
Good point raised! Maybe I can find antagonistic human force for my story.
Oh. Now it seems to be a very different story than the one conjured up by your previous posts.
IMHO: “Police using the outbreak as an avenue to openly abuse their power” is a tried and trod plot path populated by the usual suspects. It doesn’t hook my interest as a fresh, original perspective on the zombie genre.
Others mileage may vary.
dpg: I greatly appreciate the constructive criticism you have been giving me. Its tough writing screenplays. I want the story to be structurally sound before I begin to write the screenplay. The story will also deal with the breakdown of law and order. Police using the outbreak as an avenue to openly abuse their power.
>>potentially hook up with a girl he has wanted to ask out since freshman year.
And why hasn’t he after all these years? Too self-absorbed? Too scared to take the risk for relationship and love?
>>life forces you to grow up.
Actually, couldn’t you also say that death forces him to grow up? A face to face, mano a mano confrontation with the walking dead forces a dead man walking (through a self-indulgent, wasted life) to run for his life, to fight for it, to take it seriously.
And not just take life seriously — but to embrace it passionately. A visual manifestation of that subjective growth could be a scene at the end of the film where he embraces the girl — whose life he has just saved.
[That would work better if, in Act 1, he finally did ask her out — and she summarily rejected him. She didn’t appreciate him like she does now. Therefore, the love in the embrace would be mutual.]
Whatever, the “B” story would be that he has to win her love rather than merely woo it.
Random associating. I keep pestering you because I sense there is a great story that might stand out from the 10,001 zombie movies in release or development. But I don’t see it in sharp focus, yet.
Fwiw. Best wishes with your writing.
At the beginning of the story Jake is very selfish/ reckless. By the end of the story Jake will be a more likeable person, who is quick to act.
The spine of my story is life forces you to grow up.
It’s unusual idea, would be worth reading some of the script.
Good luck
>>> Evil Dead 2 and Night Of The Living Dead
And the unity of action in both films is that the characters are fighting for their lives against zombies. What is the unity of action, aka: through line, aka: spine of your story?
The party is away from main character to say his last goodbyes to his friends and potentially hook up with a girl he has wanted to ask out since freshman year.
My film will be something on the lines of Evil Dead 2 and Night Of The Living Dead. A blend of serious and funny moments with a hint of social commentary.
Thanks for the advice guys!
Icebreed2006:
Ideally, a logline starts with the inciting incident that upsets the status quo of the protagonist’s life; it triggers a causal chain of action: “After ‘A’-event, ‘B’-protagonist must do ‘C’-action before or else ‘D’-stakes”.
I don’t see a chain of causal action in the current logline.
What’s the inciting incident? The party? But the protagonist is a ‘carefree’, live-today-die-tomorrow guy. So it seems that throwing a party would be his s.o.p. which is to say, the status quo. So how can the party be the inciting incident?
If he’s throwing a party in response to the zombie outbreak — then wouldn’t the zombie outbreak is the inciting incident, the trigger event? And if it is, I think the logline would be more effective (and clear) if it were crafted to directly say so. It would state up front (not at the rear of the logline) what the inciting incident/trigger event is, and what it forces him to, like, as you said, “adapt, fight, and learn to survive in this new world.”
Interesting point raised by dpg there. I don’t think your shooting for a comedy, but if the main premise is that your guy is sooo desperate for his party to be a success that he does everything in his power to stop the guests realizing there is a zombie outbreak occurring outside you could be onto a winner. I could envision a scene where either a zombie or zombies get in and your guy makes out like they’re just drugged out guests (or even the booked band!…;)…) — in terms of plausibility — I think it would work if he’s planning this massive party to raise funds for whatever, THEN he learns of the outbreak, but the party has started, and his mission is to keep the zombies out — not to save his or his guests skin, but to make the party a success…. Risky Business versus Shawn of the Dead 😉
Anyway — good luck with it.
My main character is stubborn, he still wants to live as if the world hasn’t changed. Since my story takes place during the initial days of a zombie outbreak, I have some room to play with the genre. Densely populated area would be greatly affected by the outbreak. While people in the suburbs and isolated areas can still live somewhat normal lives. As certain events of my story unfold and the world around my main character crumbles, he will have to adapt, fight, and learn to survive in this new world.
Icebreed2006:
Here’s the stumbling block in my mind with all your versions of this story:
If he and his friends know that zombies are loose upon the land, I cannot suspend disbelief that their first instinct is to throw a party. No matter how ‘carefree’ he is, the first instinct is to survive, to fight, to flee — not to party. That just doesn’t compute in my psychological calculus.
Now if he and his friends start to party not knowing there is a zombie outbreak — well, that’s a different story. But I can’t tell that from reading any version of the story you’ve posted so far whether that is the case. Please clarify.