Genre: Historical Drama
reighPenpusher
“A caregivers journal, with accounts of her experience, gets in the hand of a young person revealing many hidden secrets.”
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I think you should check out the example page and have a look at the formula used by most loglines. At the moment this idea never really ends. Or it’s just a person sitting in a room reading a journal. I don’t really have much idea about what will take place in the film.
This is great food for thought and you are right. I’m leaning toward this. Does it work?
“A young couple, grappling with the aftermath of war and newfound responsibilities, unearth a forgotten journal, prompting them to rediscover the love that initially brought them together and protect their marriage from looming challenges.”
Which war?
The second attempt at the logline is better.
It is written from the perspective of the lead character/couple.
You might want to add stakes to your logline, but only if it can be said in a word or two.
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One more thing.
I like putting what sets the story in motion as high as possible in the logline, although that is a matter of taste. For instance:
When they unearth a forgotten journal, a young couple grappling with the aftermath of war and newfound responsibilities…
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Good luck with this!