Wok & Roll
A Caucasian chef in a struggling family-run Chinese restaurant takes on a sleazy powerhouse competitor determined to shut it down.
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When a sleazy competitor threatens to destroy their family-run Chinese restaurant, a humble chef is forced to… (Then tell us what he must do to save the restaurant)
Hope that helped, good luck with this.
When a sleazy competitor threatens to destroy their family-run Chinese restaurant, a humble chef is forced to… (Then tell us what he must do to save the restaurant)
Hope that helped, good luck with this.
The stakes are clear in that the restaurant will either close down or succeed and stay open. However I would suggest making the stakes hire. Success or failure of a restaurant is not that big a deal in the grand scheme of things. Why is it so important for the MC to make this restaurant succeed? Can you make this personal for him or her?
Also better that you describe the way in which the restaurant will succeed give the reader a clear image to see in their mind that demonstrates with out a doubt that the MC achieved his or her goal and the restaurant is saved at the end.
The end goal should put the MC at a better position but right now the MC is the same in the end as the beginning. The restaurant is open and running at the beginning and if the MC achieves the goal the restaurant is still open and running at the end. Can you improve the MC’s position at the end to make things even better than what they where at the beginning for him or her?
To increase momentum can you add a ticking time bomb? Is there a deadline by which the restaurant will be shut down? Or a bank foreclosure they must prevent? etc…
What genre is the story? This could make a good comedy but the genre is not clear, this sounds like Dodge Ball set in restaurants instead of gyms but then again there may be other intentions for this story.
Hope this helps.
The stakes are clear in that the restaurant will either close down or succeed and stay open. However I would suggest making the stakes hire. Success or failure of a restaurant is not that big a deal in the grand scheme of things. Why is it so important for the MC to make this restaurant succeed? Can you make this personal for him or her?
Also better that you describe the way in which the restaurant will succeed give the reader a clear image to see in their mind that demonstrates with out a doubt that the MC achieved his or her goal and the restaurant is saved at the end.
The end goal should put the MC at a better position but right now the MC is the same in the end as the beginning. The restaurant is open and running at the beginning and if the MC achieves the goal the restaurant is still open and running at the end. Can you improve the MC’s position at the end to make things even better than what they where at the beginning for him or her?
To increase momentum can you add a ticking time bomb? Is there a deadline by which the restaurant will be shut down? Or a bank foreclosure they must prevent? etc…
What genre is the story? This could make a good comedy but the genre is not clear, this sounds like Dodge Ball set in restaurants instead of gyms but then again there may be other intentions for this story.
Hope this helps.