American Love Story
sloanpetersonLogliner
A charming hired hand falls for the same idealistic young woman as his close friend, an emerging revolutionary after they are driven to the rural south by growing violence and corruption in the city. (Besides log line help, would like to know if you would watch this movie?)
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Hello,
the logline is not clear enough to me to judge the movie.
(I read it 3 times and still I don’t get it).
Who is the main character, what is the inciting event, what is the main character’s goal and who/what is his opponent?
As FFF said.
The logline seems to be more about the “B” story — the love story — and rather vague on what constitutes the “A” story. A logline should focus on the “A” story. That is, it should 1] identify a main character, 2] describe that character’s specific objective goal, 3] who/what opposes the main character and 4] what’s at stake.
The objective goal should be framed as something the main character is proactively seeking to accomplish. As it is “They are driven…” seems passive and reactive — circumstances are in the drivers seat of the plot rather than the main characters.
Yep, I would tweak it a bit to add conflict irony or conflict.
After her father dies a stuck up type must prove she’s worth the inheritance by working for the help of a rival family, only ly to fall in love with the dashing prince and the dishwasher boy.
The above isn’t perfect, far from it, but point I am making is we get a sense of the act structure, the lead character’s flaw, the conflict that will rise from love vs wealth, is she really in love with the prince or is he just a symbol of the life she thinks she wants.
Thank you, I am trying to adapt an old narrative poem and update it for modern day and it’s proving difficult. The poem features the love story as the A story. I will post a reworked log line soon. Thanks for your input!
If doing it for modern times maybe even think about altering the settings completely. This has been done successfully with such movies as 10 things I hate about you.
So rather than hired hand, you could go overboard and say ‘A Warlords Minon’ or ‘A Wannabe West Coast Rapper’ so take the elements and modernise yes, but look for unique settings this story could play out in today’s world
One question is the girl already his friends girl friend? That makes a slight difference to the line.
Escape a city in the grips of revolution a hired hand falls for the girlfriend of his revolutionary friend.
Escaping not escape, working from a phone..
Well, since you asked, the story is too general to elicit my interest.? There is no sense of a particular historical period in which the story takes place.? Nothing in particular that makes this story stand out from all the other love stories about one character who is charming and another who is idealistic.
>>>growing violence and corruption in the city.
When?? Where?? That could apply to any number of cities, in the past — and present.