One Last Trip
A college student attempts to raise funds for his survival, by hosting a huge house party during the initial days of a zombie outbreak. But when local law enforcement busts the party, we learn they?re not just there for the noise complaints.
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I’m not sure I get your premise. The college student is hosting a party during a zombie outbreak to make some money to survive the zombie outbreak?
Also I would add a one or two word description of the protagonist to give us a bit more insight in to their personality in addition to them being a student.
I find this a little confusing and im not sure if its the premise or the way you’ve written it out in the logine.
I think that by you just need to cut back on the information that you give. The fact that its a house party being hosted during a zombie outbreak is enough. That thing with the cops feels more like a mid-point twist rather than an initial plot point.
I would try re-writting it like this (keep in mind that i obviously dont have all the facts about your story and this is just based off your initial logline)
“When a zombie outbreak threatens to take over society, a college student decides that the best way to ensure his survival will be to throw a house party and raise the necassary funds”…or something along those lines
I agree with jamesmichael; it feels like “Project X” meets “Dawn of the Dead” is just the kind of thing that hollywood would eat up right now, but the wording of your logline feels clunky. Take it back to basics; inciting incident (zombie apocalypse), flawed protagonist (? college student), goal (raise funds … can you be specific here? He needs $50,000 for a ticket on an “ark” or something like that?), antagonist, stakes.
Logically … if people know it’s a zombie apocalypse, and survival is people’s objective … why do people turn up to his party and not just flee or save themselves? What if the goal was not to simply save himself … it was to restart the human race by way of rampant procreation? If I’m reading the genre right, this would fit the premise relatively well?