Logliner
Posted: 2018-11-18T06:05:10+10:00 In:

A dead husband waits to be reunited with his wife, but he isn’t the only one waiting.

A dead husband waits to be reunited with his wife, but he isn’t the only one waiting.
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    3 Reviews

    1. Best Answer
      Singularity

      The logline presents a story that is stuck in neutral, that doesn’t get into gear and do anything, go anywhere.? What happens (the inciting incident) that gets the story into gear and moving?? And once it moves, move toward what?? What is the action, the plot?

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    2. Best Answer
      Singularity

      I agree with dpg. A lead character is active, not passive. In your story, the lead character is ‘waiting’ which is very passive.

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    3. Best Answer
      Samurai

      To avoid a passive character: get him to actually do something for his wife to come to him, in the afterlife. It can a special prayer or a spell or an arrangement with God or the Devil or a sacrifice. He may choose to spend 1000 years in hell just to be with her for the rest of eternity.

      But then, there is a twist: she comes with another man. Who is this man and why she chose to die with him is up to you.

      Finally, what must he do to win her back? The Action.

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