Title: Wolfbane
Horror/Thriller
“A debilitated wildlife ranger discovers mutilated human remains, survives a Lycanthrope attack.
He struggles to find safety from a group of sadistic werewolf hunters hot on his tail”
Revised logline
I’m getting closer 🙂
I think I may have read your previous ones at this concept. I feel like this is disconnected now. There is no sense of irony between the first statement and the last. The “Lycanthrope attack” line just seem thrown in.
Now that you mention it does seem thrown in.
I don’t want to use the word “werewolf” more than once. I’ll have a play around, thanks.
I like this idea, and the second sentence very much. I thought of it like this “A victim of a previous werewolf attack, wildlife ranger ______ finds himself being pursued by a group of sadistic hunters”
Cheers, myoldfavorite
I like it!
His name isn’t important at this stage.
I would like to show what the ranger was doing before the attack / i.i
A Character flaw for him to overcome
i would like to have irony in the logline, something to hook the reader.
To me the hero’s profession isn’t a major factor. The main key is that the forest is like a second home to him. An escape from the world.
Just an idea..
“After discovering a mutilated corpse a detached tracker survives a werewolf attack. He finds himself being pursued by a group of sadistic hunters”
might play with it a bit more.
Thanks
Revised
“A lone tracker preserving wildlife survives a werewolf attack. No cure and a new moon rising, the sadistic poachers on his tail have all the answers”
What do you think?
“A lone tracker preserving wildlife survives a werewolf attack. No cure and a new moon rising. His answers lie with the sadistic poachers who pursue him”
I love a good werewolf story! Having seen a few, I can suggest that although the concept is workable, I’m not sure the logline helps it stand apart enough. ie, standard werewolf story. I think it needs a little more of ‘something’ to hook us.
I’d also consider tightening it up a little. For example, how important is the discovery of the remains? I’d also recommend cutting it down/reworking it into a single sentence of no more than 25 words (that’s just a personal limit, but it seems to work nicely).
Hope this helps.
Hi Chris
Cheers for the feedback. Any advice is good advice.
The remains were just someone that was attacked, so little importance.
here is the updated version
A lone tracker preserving wildlife survives a werewolf attack. No cure and a new moon rising. His answers lie with the sadistic poachers pursuing him? (25 words)
Hi..
I have a question.. hi sanswers to what? To finding a cure? but there is no cure. so what is his goal? To find answers…?
And I am not sure that “preserving wildlife” really adds to the character for me.
my 2 cents…
joy
sorry, bad typo “no known cure” so the cure is the goal.
“preserving wildlife” I was showing what the character was doing before the i.i, but since the title is in the name, I’m better off without it i think.
“A lone tracker survives a werewolf attack. No known cure and a new moon rising, his answers lie with the sadistic poachers pursuing him”
Thanks for the help, Joy. 🙂