Logliner
Posted: 2012-08-02T12:43:25+10:00 In:

A debilitated wildlife ranger discovers mutilated human remains, survives a Lycanthrope attack. He struggles to find safety from a group of sadistic werewolf hunters hot on his tail

Title: Wolfbane
Horror/Thriller

“A debilitated wildlife ranger discovers mutilated human remains, survives a Lycanthrope attack.
He struggles to find safety from a group of sadistic werewolf hunters hot on his tail”

Revised logline

I’m getting closer 🙂

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    10 Reviews

    1. I think I may have read your previous ones at this concept. I feel like this is disconnected now. There is no sense of irony between the first statement and the last. The “Lycanthrope attack” line just seem thrown in.

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    2. Logliner

      Now that you mention it does seem thrown in.
      I don’t want to use the word “werewolf” more than once. I’ll have a play around, thanks.

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    3. I like this idea, and the second sentence very much. I thought of it like this “A victim of a previous werewolf attack, wildlife ranger ______ finds himself being pursued by a group of sadistic hunters”

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    4. Logliner

      Cheers, myoldfavorite

      I like it!

      His name isn’t important at this stage.
      I would like to show what the ranger was doing before the attack / i.i
      A Character flaw for him to overcome
      i would like to have irony in the logline, something to hook the reader.

      To me the hero’s profession isn’t a major factor. The main key is that the forest is like a second home to him. An escape from the world.

      Just an idea..

      “After discovering a mutilated corpse a detached tracker survives a werewolf attack. He finds himself being pursued by a group of sadistic hunters”

      might play with it a bit more.
      Thanks

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    5. Logliner

      Revised

      “A lone tracker preserving wildlife survives a werewolf attack. No cure and a new moon rising, the sadistic poachers on his tail have all the answers”

      What do you think?

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    6. Logliner

      “A lone tracker preserving wildlife survives a werewolf attack. No cure and a new moon rising. His answers lie with the sadistic poachers who pursue him”

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    7. Penpusher

      I love a good werewolf story! Having seen a few, I can suggest that although the concept is workable, I’m not sure the logline helps it stand apart enough. ie, standard werewolf story. I think it needs a little more of ‘something’ to hook us.

      I’d also consider tightening it up a little. For example, how important is the discovery of the remains? I’d also recommend cutting it down/reworking it into a single sentence of no more than 25 words (that’s just a personal limit, but it seems to work nicely).

      Hope this helps.

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    8. Logliner

      Hi Chris
      Cheers for the feedback. Any advice is good advice.

      The remains were just someone that was attacked, so little importance.

      here is the updated version

      A lone tracker preserving wildlife survives a werewolf attack. No cure and a new moon rising. His answers lie with the sadistic poachers pursuing him? (25 words)

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    9. Hi..
      I have a question.. hi sanswers to what? To finding a cure? but there is no cure. so what is his goal? To find answers…?
      And I am not sure that “preserving wildlife” really adds to the character for me.
      my 2 cents…
      joy

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    10. Logliner

      sorry, bad typo “no known cure” so the cure is the goal.
      “preserving wildlife” I was showing what the character was doing before the i.i, but since the title is in the name, I’m better off without it i think.

      “A lone tracker survives a werewolf attack. No known cure and a new moon rising, his answers lie with the sadistic poachers pursuing him”

      Thanks for the help, Joy. 🙂

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