A desperately lonely woman is unknowingly trapped in purgatory until her grieving husband is finally able to let her go
louisewildingLogliner
A desperately lonely woman is unknowingly trapped in purgatory until her grieving husband is finally able to let her go
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If the husband is the protagonist that would make the McGuffin. So try writing it from the husbands POV and it enables action to be entered.
A grieving husband must ….. to release his wife that doesn’t realise she is stuck in purgatory.
I may even drop the wife’s knowledge. Leave it for the story.
If your story does not have the correct components to form a decent logline, it could be that your story is faulty and that sucks. What doesn’t suck is that you can use a solid log premise and adjust your story where perhaps the rewrite will save it.
Is the purgatory literal or figurative?
Sometimes the hardest thing is coming up with a logline. The logline is short and you have to cut out so much and if you do have an atypical script it becomes even tougher.
thanks guys, I’m finding it hard to get the right words for this, its not a typical script, so any and all help / advice is greatly appreciated.
I agree with Dk,
The problem; if the woman is the lead character, she is not in control. Events are happening to her instead of her causing the action and in ?a story a lead character or pro-active.
“A desperately lonely woman is unknowingly trapped in purgatory until her grieving husband is finally able to let her go”
You introduce two characters in the logline, and neither has a clear objective goal which they actively pursue. The woman only waits for someone to be able to let her go, which as an action I don’t know how you represent that visually, because film is a visual medium. And the husband, who you don’t describe as actively trying to achieve a clear goal.
So, who is the protagonist, and what is a clear, visual goal they pursue? The goal should be in response to an event, the inciting incident which they react to.
Check out the Formula tab at the top of the page for some information on making a standard logline.