Logliner
Posted: 2012-12-22T12:56:59+10:00 In:

A devout basketball star's shot at reaching the ?Final Four? is sabotaged by his insidious mother when he discovers the untold truth about his fatherless past.

One Unforgettable Season

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    2 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      There is quite a bit of good in this:

      Protagonist: Basketball Star
      Goal: Final Four
      Antagonist: Mother

      However it’s a bit clunky in the execution.

      How does he discover the untold truth about his fatherless past and how does that relate to his mothers sabotaging his chances at the final four?

      As written it’s more confusing than intriguing..

      If you can clear that up without being too wordy, the logline will be much improved.

      Hope that helps.

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    2. Penpusher

      I want to know that truth. Never be scared to put your ‘unique selling point’ in the log line; after all, it’s a selling point, and it can’t sell anything if it’s not there!

      Also, like Richiev, I’m not see how his parentage prevents him achieving his sports ambitions, so that could be clearer…

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