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Cameron Pattison
Posted: May 6, 20132013-05-06T17:33:47+10:00 2013-05-06T17:33:47+10:00In: Public

A disgraced cop pursues the serial killer who murdered his partner ten years ago, has resurfaced, and is killing again.

THE WINTER KILLS

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    4 Reviews

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    1. Zane Pinner
      2013-05-07T10:33:56+10:00Added an answer on May 7, 2013 at 10:33 am

      Succinct, immediately identifiable narrative. Perhaps too familiar – I’m sure I’ve already seen this film!

      I think you could drop the “has resurfaced and is killing again” part as it’s implied in the fact that the cop is pursuing him – perhaps a change to “before he kills again” to keep the story in the present?

      “A disgraced cop must stop the serial killer who murdered his partner from killing again.”

      Again, it’s a pretty standard crime thriller scenario, but fans of the genre love this stuff as long as the characters are interesting 🙂

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    2. 2013-05-08T19:00:07+10:00Added an answer on May 8, 2013 at 7:00 pm

      Zane Pinner makes some good points. Doing my own analysis from the top …

      Firstly, the biggest problem here is the ten year gap. That’s too long a gap and really undermines the urgency of the disgraced cop hunting the serial killer down.

      Secondly, I consider a stronger and more dramatic motivation for the disgraced cop to be for him to right the murder of his wife or daughter or son by this killer. (In this alternate scenario, a few-year gap could work. As the depth of his loss – and the strength of his desire for vindication – would still be real after, say, three years.)

      The loss of the cop’s partner, by contrast, is much less interesting. Unless … The partner was killed partly as a consequence of something the disgraced cop can feel guilty about. Such as not backing up the partner due to taking time out to take an alcoholic swill. (Which would make the story have a nice element of personal redemption, rather than be a case of straightforward revenge.)

      Either way – whether by death of a loved one or of a work partner – the logline could better emphasise the disgraced cop’s journey of redemption by telling a bit more about how the disgraced cop was, for instance, partly at fault. (Or, in the case of a loved one, emphasise the trajedy more by describing how the cop was going to gift something significant had the murder not happened that night. For example, a graduation gift for the cop’s daughter.)

      In summary, the main improvement needed for this logline (apart from ridding the ten year gap) is to make the murder of the cop’s partner or loved one particularly poignant. Even better would be to tie the cop’s specific disgrace to being a contributing factor that allowed the murder to happen.

      Steven Fernandez (Judge)

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    3. dpg Singularity
      2013-05-09T00:26:56+10:00Added an answer on May 9, 2013 at 12:26 am

      The 10 year lapse could work if the disgraced cop is on the verge of retirement — and, lo, the serial killer re-emerges. This is his last chance to redeem himself.

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    4. ScriptNurse
      2013-05-14T23:29:02+10:00Added an answer on May 14, 2013 at 11:29 pm

      Perhaps the disgraced cop was demoted, causing peer humiliation that started his drinking problem. In the end, it’s personal redemption, vindication and restored standing among his peers.

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