Penpusher
Posted: 2017-03-30T20:45:34+10:00 In:

A dissatisfied 30-something-year-old woman risks her long-term relationship to figure out if she?s missing out on a more exciting and passionate love life.

A dissatisfied 30-something-year-old woman risks her long-term relationship to figure out if she?s missing out on a more exciting and passionate love life.
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    5 Reviews

    1. Uberwriter

      If she’s dissatisfied with her relationship, then what is she really risking? Enter children then you have something there. The way you have it written, this woman is not someone I can root for to succeed with this plot.

      Any other stakes you can mention?

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    2. Singularity

      Alas, the protagonist is pursuing an amorphously defined goal to satisfy a generalized subjective need.

      Film is a visual medium and every element in a logline should describe a person, action or object that can be visualized on the silver screen. ?”More exciting and passionate love life” — what’s the visual on that?

      Also loglines are framed in terms of ?the pursuit of specific objective goals, not subjective needs.? In the script, ?the achievement of the objective goal has the intended or unintended consequence of fulfilling the subjective need — but that is extraneous for the purpose of a logline.

      So if her subjective need is for a spiced up love life, then the objective goal is to find a guy (or gal, depending on her sexual orientation) who provides the spice. And that is how the logline should frame her quest.

      Also loglines are about the pursuit of a Big Dream, the Biggest Dream, something the protagonist MUST have. ?So ?that’s it, her biggest dream is to get a better lay. ?And for that she’s willing to risk all? ?IMHO, her quest (however framed) seems selfish. ?She wants to pursue a better screw — and screw everyone else.

      ?Well, ?a main character can initially start out in pursuit of a wrong goal for the wrong reason. ?But what is there about her that will make the audience want to hang around, wait and hope she comes to her senses and chooses the right goal for the right reason?

      fwiw

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    3. Singularity

      There was a movie in the 80’s called “Nina takes a lover” about a dissatisfied housewife who… you know, takes a lover. So I believe there is room here for an interesting story.

      However you should give us a more compelling inciting incident to hook the readers of this logline.

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    4. Singularity

      >>>There was a movie in the 80?s called ?Nina takes a lover?

      Okay, but ?”Nina” is the story of a married woman’s ?fling with a specific lover, not someone playing the field, randomly “Looking for Mr. Goodbar”.

      “Looking for Mr. Goodbar” (1977) is the movie that came to mind after reading this logline. ?And it’s a favorite because the promiscuous sex life of the protagonist is not dangled as voyeuristic bait, gratuitous titillation for the audience. ?It’s an edgy and ?insightful portrayal of ?emotional masochism.

      It’s on my list of movies to write a logline for as practice, and it’s a tough one. ? But then “Looking for Mr. Goodbar” was adapted from ?a best-selling book. ? The success of the book sold the movie project– not a logline.

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    5. Samurai

      COME ON EILEEN –
      After her nervous breakdown goes viral a 37 year old woman ends her long term toxic relationship and leaps into a series of dating adventures in search of the exciting and passionate love life of her dreams

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