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Tony ByrdPenpusher
A former child actor’s life has turned upside down when he mentors a teenage boy who looks like him during his younger days.
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Do drug dealers actually mentor people?
I would see how a former drug dealer might, but I would think it odd that a drug dealer would become a mentor.
I changed it to former child actor.
I’m not sure why you had drug dealer in the first place… why would seeing someone who looks like his younger self turn his life upside down?
I realise you’ve changed it to ‘former child actor’ but this is such an extreme change, that I wondered how it could be done whilst leaving the rest of the logline intact? ?Surely the motivation was embedded within the entire sentence.
Changing it to a former child actor, actually makes it work really well for me (which is why I’m so surprised you had a drug dealer in the first place)… either you’ve struck lucky, or there’s some method to your madness?
This needs a bit of work, but is so much better in its construction than previous loglines. ?I can see why a former (possibly forgotten) child actor would be impacted by a rising star who looks just like him, it sounds like he could either mentor this boy to avoid all the mistakes he made and therefore progress to becoming the successful adult actor he could never be himself, or he could jealously sabotage his career so that the teen also becomes a forgotten child actor that once showed promise but falls into obscurity.
I’d work on this some more and refine it to clarify what the story is – starting with being specific about how his life is turned upside down.
I really like this idea.
Regards
Trix