My version of a Red Riding Hood tale.
McCreedyLogliner
A family of werewolf hunters are manipulated and systematically brought to the brink of extinction by those they hunt.
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The juices are flowing guys, keep them coming, this is awesome! How do you feel regarding this update?
“Werewolf hunters are stalked by an Alpha, they discover it wants to eliminate them and add their daughter to it?s pack.”
All very helpful, thank you. Ok manipulate is out. How about this, Werewolf hunters are stalked by an Alpha, they discover it wants to end their line, and add the last remaining member, their daughter, to it?s pack.
“A family of werewolf hunters are manipulated and systematically brought to the brink of extinction by those they hunt.”
I like the concept. I agree with “manipulated” as being an odd choice of words, unless, in fact, they are manipulated as in “mind controlled” or something along those lines. If that’s the case, it might behoove you to tell us HOW they are manipulated. If you mean tricked, stalked and slaughtered, those three verbs are probably better suited for a logline.
“The hunters become the hunted when a pack of ravenous werewolves chase down a wolf-killing team one-by-one…”
There’s still an ending that needs to be developed. A good twist to a old classic.
Your assumption is current, it’s a “revengee” story. ;o) Thanks for taking the time.
Thanks for the feed back.
It’s a revenge story, but from the perspective of the “revengees”. I like it. My advice would be to re-write the logline and make it about one character within the family of hunters, maybe a young boy or girl who is more innocent, and just being initated into the family business. That way we have someone to root for as he/she fights to survive and save his family as these werewolves take revenge and kill them off one by one.
I also agree with Maidenscombe, you can be a little more specific with how they are targetted.
You could also hint at an inner journey. This main character could start off seeing werewolves just as his family does, as vicious animals to be killed, and as the movie progresses he can realize its much more complex…he could start to sympathise with the werewolves’ plight, perhaps even seek to redeem his family’s actions? I’m picturing a darker, bloodier, werewolfier version of “How to train a dragon”. Just a thought 🙂
You might want to rewrite that, as depending on who reads that they may have widely different thoughts. Take a producer whose family consists of husband, wife and two three year olds. or a producer whose family is a husband wife and two nineteen year olds.
The words manipulated and systematically don’t seem to mean anything, try specifying how they are targeted.
Brought to the brink of extinction? Do you mean there is only one of them left alive?
And stating, My version of a red riding hood tale.
It sounds like an apology, if you want a producer to take notice of what you have done, be positive, be proud of what you have done, make him/ her want to read it. IE… This is my account of the old and tired Red Riding Hood tale.