Edit2 – When a man inherits his father?s fortune he is shot while he sleeps, he wakes to his final day on earth rewinding around him and must figure out who shot him before he bleeds to death.
CrackinPenpusher
Edit2 – When a man inherits his father?s fortune he is shot while he sleeps, he wakes to his final day on earth rewinding around him and must figure out who shot him before he bleeds to death.
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The first two parts are redundant – fatally wounded means nothing if he’s already dead.
It’s also unclear whether the day occurs backwards or just repeats. And whether it repeats more than once.
Also – why does he get this second chance? I figure that would be a key selling point and what makes it different from all the other versions of this idea.
Lastly – is there two versions of himself? Otherwise stopping yourself from doing something that you don’t want to do is kind of easy.
A dead man finds his final day on Earth rewinding and must undo the events that lead to his demise.
I’ll add that it sounds like he intentionally killed the wife and after dying himself felt regret. If this is the case, it would be hard to justify empathy for the main character but if it was an accidental killing you’d likely have the audience ‘on board’ from the start. Perhaps it would be better to describe the killing as accidental?
I agree with Paul except with having to know why he gets a second chance. In?Groundhog Day, we never learns why he was giving a second chance and nor does the audience cares. What is important is what he does with the opportunity.
What is the genre intended, because the same concept has been played as comedy (Groundhog Day), action/thriller (Day Break), horror/thriller (Happy Death Day).
Your logline does not contain any info regarding the protagonist. What does he do? What kind of man is he: kind, courageous, meek, assertive, …? What is the status of his marriage: happy, separated…?
Like Nir said, an accidental death makes him a more palatable protagonist, but even if it was deliberate, maybe has an excuse and the use of a qualifier on the wife (bunny boiler, mentally unstable, …) or the status of the marriage could help.
When he starts relieving the day of his death, an happy married lawyer must find a way to avoid unwittingly killing himself and his wife.
Yes, good notes by Paul.
To which I would add that in order to dramatically justify the character’s existential predicament the logline might want to indicate the character flaw which explains why he is trapped in the time loop.? This implies the character arc to escaping the tragic ending and break out of the loop.? For example, Phil Connor’s character flaw? in “Groundhog Day” is that he is egocentric.
“Given a second chance at life after his murder, the sole inheritor of his rich fathers will must figure out “who done it” if he is to survive.”
btw, I like this premise if it is a “whodunit
The man is killed and is given a second chance at life, now in his father’s mansion he has a second chance to figure out who is the killer before he dies again.”
It is definitely?a different take on the whodunit genre.
Alas, the revised version is too long (48 words) and too complicated.?
And it needs a ticking clock, a deadline.? Unless it’s a “Groundhog Day” scenario where he keeps reliving the last day of his life culminating in his brutal murder until he figures how who did it — and why.? But I don’t know which way you intend to go with the concept.
fwiw
You must explain the connection between the main character being shot and him havin inherited his father?s fortune. Does the shoter wants to steal the money? If so, write it.
“When a man, who has recently inherited his father?s fortune, gets killed in his sleep and wakes up again to face his final day on earth, he must figure out who shot him before night falls.” If you use “before he bleeds to death” it sounds like he wakes in the morning and is already bleeding; and therefor wouldn?t live for very long anyways.