A revolutionary Arabian prince rises in revolt to free his people from the Barbarians after he was given a second chance to live again.
haidar83Penpusher
A revolutionary Arabian prince rises in revolt to free his people from the Barbarians after he was given a second chance to live again.
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The character name should be removed from the logline. Unless it is a story about a widely recognised historical character such as Jesus or Ghandi, which most producers would know, other wise it parts with convention and is therefore unnecessary.
Regardless the fact that this story is based on Arab folklore, you should take the liberty of adapting it to the screen. This means structuring into the plot more conventional story elements such as cinematic inciting incidents, goals and action. Cinematic means visual, something that can be photographed and understood by the audience without exposition. Therefore Ethan’s suggestion of enslaving the Arab people – show their plight and need for freedom, and Richiev’s suggestion that awakening a dream is not a good goal for the screen?- what achievement can visually explain that the MC succeeded and his people are free? Perhaps him killing Gadab or the Barbarian armies retreating from the peninsula would make for better goals.
This has the making of?an epic story, and would possibly require either a sequel or a few TV seasons to complete, I strongly suggest the latter and therefore best to get your basic structure solid at this early stage.
For example:
After a Barbarian war lord kills his father, a fearless prince must unite all the Arab tribes in order to lead an army to free them from slavery.?
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I made the antagonist kill his father so it has a personal stake as well as a social one, I also specified the action he will have to take in order to achieve his goal of freedom.?
I don’t know a lot about Arabian tales but this seems very thin as far as a screenplay idea. Is the dream a genie? If it is just say that. As for the story itself about saving the peninsular you just need to make that all clearer (and you can leave character names from log-lines unless EVERYONE knows them already)
How do you awaken a dream? This objective seems rather intangible.
I could understand if your lead character had to unite three tribes and lead them into battle. Maybe each tribe sends him on an impossible quest before they accept him like they did his father, then I could understand what the lead character actually has to do.
But I am not sure how a character would ‘awaken a dream’ I would try a different objective for you lead character.
Hope that helped, good luck with this!
“A fearless prince, Ara the son of Arab King rises in revolt against the Barbarians to free his Arabian Peninsula, but first he must awaken the Arabian dream.”
Hey haidar83,
An inciting incident appears to be missing. Your MC’s goal to?free his Arabian Peninsula can fix that: so,?when the Barbarians enslaves his people…
From there, consider putting your MC’s main course of action (which you also have) before his goal.
The story takes a place in the year 1150 B.C. during the late Bronze Age when the Barbarians were in control of the Arabian Peninsula and all the Arab tribes were under the rule of the barbarians, this was not accepted by the Arabian prince Ara. After Ara’s father (The King of Arabs Tribes) was killed by the Barbarians to save his only son; Ara (mysteriously) had a second chance to live again and decides to wake the Arabian dream and to free his people by an armed revolution. But this angered the Barbarians Kingdom which marched more than 10,000 heavily armed barbarians heading to the Arabian Peninsula, led by the king of the barbarians (Gadab) who was fearless and strong enough to rule the whole world. Now Ara must keep his dream awake (as long as he can) by facing his destiny through an eternal battle against injustice.