Ghetto Hauntings
A flamboyantly ghetto man must care for his rich estranged grandmother as a live-in in her haunted house in this horror genre spoof.
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I like the premise: Here is a shot at a logline that adds a goal for the protagonist and a possible obstacle.
“A street hustler becomes his estranged grandmothers live-in caretaker in order to get into her will, but will his plans be derailed when he finds the mansion is haunted.”
You could also add something like, — by an over protective ghost. — This gives an obstacle, the ghost is protecting the grandmother from his attempt to scam his way into the Will.
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Just a thought, what if he wasn’t really her long lost grandson but just pretending to be for an inheritance.
I understood the log line but don’t feel like it really gripped me enough to want to see the film. The premise works but I would have to agree with Richiev in that it doesn’t really give us a definitive obstacle at the minute.
An interesting idea though especially with The Cabin In The Woods recently starting this horror spoof faze.
Interesting concept, but feel like it needs some work to engage the reader with a better sense of tension. I echo Richiev’s comment and suggested logline – something to consider.
Thanks for the input. The idea was actually for a funny short film, but I wanted to see what I would do wrong on a feature length logline. I agree the idea isn’t strong enough to last 110 pages, but I think there’s a funny way to make it work for 7.
I like the concept, it is something that I could see Eddie Murphy or Sinbad doing when they were younger.
If you decide to go longer than 7 pages, then it would be a good idea to give the protagonist a reason to look around the house.
He believes a family heirloom is hidden somewhere in the mansion. Maybe the heirloom was supposed to go to his (now deceased) mother but the Grandma cheated her out of it. (or at least that is what he believes)
He is determined to find the heirloom but the over protective ghost keeps getting in his way. Plus the longer he’s in the mansion, the more his is frustration mounts at having to be nice to the Grandma.
Anyway, just some ideas.