A good looking law student's privileged lifestyle is turned upside as he's lured deeper and deeper into the sinister world of Dark Video.

There are a couple things that could improve this logline.

First, you need to explain what Dark Video (the antogonist) is, and what kind of threat is poses to the MC (the stakes). Without an understanding of it, the reader won’t be able to see where the story and as a result is unlikely to be interested in the plight of your protagonist.

Second, you need to state what drove the MC to become lured into this world (the inciting incident). Often this has something to do with a flaw in the MC’s character. You describe him as “good-looking,” but this description doesn’t seem to be directly related to anything in the plot. Perhaps you could find a better descriptive adjective for your MC that would speak to a flaw in his character that causes him to get sucked into this sinister world.

hope this helps

“Internet porn” is much clearer than “Dark Video,” but it’s still not clear from your revised logline what this story is actually ABOUT. The MC looks to have two distinct goals: 1) “to overcome the world of internet porn” and 2) “to save a girl.”

How are these two goals tied together? Is this story about a guy struggling with a sex addiction, a la “Don Jon,” or is the world of internet porn simply an obstacle that gets in the way of his broader goal of saving the girl?

My take from this revised logline is that it’s the former – about a guy with a sex addiction who meets a girl – possibly a girl in the porn industry herself – and saves her from that world, in the process realizing that true intimacy is what he needs all along, hence saving himself from his addiction as well.

I understand you don’t want to reveal what the key twists in the story are, but as dpg said, you need to give the reader some sense of where your story is going in order to hook their interest.

From whose perspective is this story being told, Alistair?s or Terri?s? In other words, who is the focus of the story?

If the focus is on Terri and the attempt to find her attackers, then she should be the protag in your logline, with her goal being to find the attackers. If the focus is on Alistar and his fellow conspirators, then he should be the protag and the goal should be his desire (albeit conflicted) to make the snuff film.

Based on your synopsis, the main focus seems to be on Alistair, but the fact that you start the story with Terri, not Alistair, and that the reader is kept in the dark about Alistair’s involvement with the conspirators implies that the story is told from Terri?s perspective.