Posted: 2018-01-23T14:08:43+10:00 In:

A greedy bounty hunter falsely accused of regicide must race against outlaws to earn a wish and clear his name.

A greedy bounty hunter falsely accused of regicide must race against outlaws to earn a wish and clear his name.
Share

    Post a review

    You must login to add an answer.

    To see everything,

    3 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      The various pieces of this puzzle don’t fit together very well…

      Why MUST he race against outlaws? I don’t understand the connection between his false accusation and the consequence, it makes more sense that he (now an outlaw himself) would run away from the authorities.

      Secondly, I don’t understand what a “…wish granting land…” is or what it looks like, is there a better objective to give him? Seeing as his goal is to clear his name, wouldn’t he need to find the person who really killed the king?

      • 0
    2. Singularity

      The ‘wish’ part of this came out of nowhere and is sort of confusing… Not saying it’s bad, just that it needs to be cleared up a little bit in the logline.

      • 0
    3. Singularity

      The “wish-granting land” seems to keep tripping up logline readers.

      The concept is hard to grasp because it refers to some vague place rather than a wish granting person (like a fairy or a wizard).? How can a place grant a wish? Doesn’t that require some kind of consciousness to be able to do so.? And if there is a consciousness, how can a place have a mind of its own?

      It also run counters to the current conventions of drama (even fantasy) where it the dramatic job of the protagonist to make his own wishes come true.? He can’t outsource it to some other person, place or thing.? Or if he can, it has ironic, unintended, negative consequences; hence, it doesn’t represent the final solution, only a further compounding of his dramatic predicament.

      A logline should create curiosity, not confusion.? I suggest that if you intend to stay with a wish-granting place rather than a person, drop it from the logline and introduce and develop it in the script.? Because it’s going to take considerable exposition to sell the idea to an audience, to answer all the questions it raises.? And the purpose of a logline is to sell a story — not explain it.

      fwiw

      • 0