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bjhamele1018
Posted: January 10, 20132013-01-10T04:11:33+10:00 2013-01-10T04:11:33+10:00In: Public

A group of induviduals struggle with poverty, drug abuse, and sadness. While in the end finding an improbable outcome.

Hope

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    2 Reviews

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    1. Richiev Singularity
      2013-01-10T09:43:08+10:00Added an answer on January 10, 2013 at 9:43 am

      This is way too vague to be a logline.

      You need a character that the audience can connect with, “A group of individuals” doesn’t draw people in.

      “While in the end finding an improbably outcome.” Besides being way to vague, I wouldn’t add the ending of your story a logline; I would drop this all together.

      Instead pick out one character and tell us what he wants to achieve and what is standing in his way.

      “A thoughtful homeless man an his poverty struck neighbors must (Do this) it they want to (Achieve this) before (This bad thing happens)

      Anyway, I like the idea, some improvements to your logline and you should be good to go.

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    2. 2013-01-10T11:55:57+10:00Added an answer on January 10, 2013 at 11:55 am

      The first sentence feels more like a situation, the second sentence feels like it could apply to any story (well at least any story that isn’t predictable).

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