Black Echoes
jamesmichaelPenpusher
-A group of international tourists are taken off the beaten path to an isolated village deep in the Vietnamese countryside where they experience a Viet Cong tunnel crawl that makes the famous Cu Chi tunnels seem like a playground… tighter, more claustrophobic, scarier. They get their money?s worth and then some!
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Unfortunately this doesn’t sound like a logline for a feature film. There is no hero, antagonist, struggle, goal, etc. It sounds like the description of an event on someone’s holiday. At best it could be the lead-in to a segment on a travel documentary but even then it lacks a purpose. It is really just the ‘place’ element of a logline. It needs all the other ingredients. It could be a horror film set in the tunnels when the young couple on their holiday discover a secret passage that leads to a…. you get the idea.
The first sentence sounded promising for a moment but sadly the logline goes downhill from there… to reach the absolute lowest point with … the exclamation mark.
Please. Don’t. Ever.