Penpusher
Posted: 2013-04-04T13:09:40+10:00 In:

A happy-go-lucky divorce lawyer who preys on divorcees gets a wake up call when an ex shows up with a kid claiming its his and threatens his bachelor lifestyle.

Splitting The Sheets

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    4 Reviews

    1. I think this log line works, although it does need a little re-wording but other than minor adjustments I think it is along the right lines. It gives us a flawed protagonist whose life is to sleep around, put under threat by a new kid who will ultimately change him as a person. (This is the gist I get from it). If that is the case then I am on board and the story outline has been told.

      However I would alter some and play around with it. I would remove ‘gets a wake-up call’ and perhaps hint at a change in his character.

      ‘A carefree divorce lawyer’s lavish bachelor lifestyle is put on hold when his ex surprises him with a child, forcing him to reevaluate his life.’

      Not sure if my attempt helps but good luck.

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    2. You’re right, it needed some rewording. And yes your gist is correct. Thank you, Kriss.

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    3. Penpusher

      I agree, it needed some rewording. And yes your gist is correct. Thank you, Kriss.

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    4. Singularity

      Hey Tgroves

      I would change “Happy-go-lucky divorce lawyer” to something like, “lascivious divorce lawyer”

      Saying “lascivious divorce lawyer” would imply that he is preying on his female clients and you could shorten the logine.

      “When an ex-lover shows up with a child he never new existed, a lascivious divorce lawyer finds he must choose between his hedonistic lifestyle or his child.”

      Of course there are a couple big words in my attempt, you may want to go with Kiss’s advice; either way. I hope that helped.

      Good luck with this!

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