The Teenage Preacher
A high school freshman under the pressure of taking his father's place as pastor tries to turn his badly influenced school around. Challenged by a misunderstood gang member he strives to show him the importance of giving the lord a chance.
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I meant ‘deadline’ not ‘deadly’
Your logline is way too wordy. You should cut it in half and then work with either the first half or the second. I would go with the second half myself.
“Challenged by a misunderstood gang member, a preachers son fights to show him the importance of giving the lord a chance before the Hood is forced prove his loyalty by killing an innocent.”
I took a little liberty with the story in order to give the pastor’s son a deadly. He must save the young gang member before…
Hope this helps, good luck with this
This feels a little underdeveloped and wordy as it stands, however the essence is in there.
I think you could remove the ‘pressure from dad’ part as that sounds secondary to the A-Story.
I would concentrate on the central characters – the freshman preacher vs. the gang member – and inject the main obstacle he faces in achieving his goal.
If this is faith based maybe you could allude to the freshman’s faith being tested in some way? What’s the obstacle standing in the hero’s way? If it’s the ‘influences present at the school’ I think it would pay to make that clearer.