A high school outcast in the shadow of his best friend falls in love with his best friend?s lover.
WaveLogliner
A high school outcast in the shadow of his best friend falls in love with his best friend?s lover.
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I see your two main characters- the high school outcast and the best friend- and the conflict is clear: what will the MC do after he fell in love with the lover of his best friend. There’s plenty of conflict to create tension and suspense from.
But a logline needs also a goal. What is the goal of your main character, the high school outcast? Be specific about it.
“After (When) a high school outcast falls in love with his best friend’s lover, (s)he…
You don’t need the “in the shadow of his best friend” line in here.
What is the obstacle that keeps your MC apart from his love(r)? Remember: you have to fill at least 90 pages.
The logline sets up an interesting situation, one a lot of young people (the multitude of outsiders, wannabes) can identify with. ?And a major obstacle is clear enough to me: ?his best friend. ?He will have to risk losing his best, maybe only, friend in order to win her affection.
What is lacking to complete the logline is an objective goal, a clearly stated game plan to win her affection. ?The logline sets up the 1st Act., but not the 2nd Act. ?What is the through line for the 2nd Act? ?What is his game plan?
I give the concept a thumbs up — but it needs work.
A good idea for a story, but the logline needs just a little more to catch the reader.