Penpusher
Posted: 2016-11-10T11:38:56+10:00 In:

A highly cultivated test subject flees the clutches of a CIA organization and must determine the purpose of his program while evading capture from government officials.

A highly cultivated test subject flees the clutches of a CIA organization and must determine the purpose of his program while evading capture from government officials.
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    7 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      >>>Escaping torturous experimentation
      Do we know that? ?All we learn is that he had special training. ?Whatever, it’s not the story hook.

      To my way of thinking, the first question to answer in writing ?a logline is: ?what is the story hook? ?The logline should be framed around the answer to that question. ?Nir Shelter’s version, better than mine, ?frames the hook of “The Bourne Identity”. ?And the hook is the mystery: ?why/how did the protagonist end up floating unconscious in the Mediterranean?

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    2. Uberwriter

      Cultivate seems like the wrong word. It doesn’t mean anything in the context of the logline.

      Why does he need to figure it out? Would escape by the goal. Why not start with the reason why he has to figure it out.

      “Escaping torturous experimentation a guy must discover the reason why to …….”

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    3. Singularity

      I beg to differ.

      I believe The Bourn Identity is unique in that it opens on the inciting incident – the MC waking up with amnesia on a strange boat in the middle of the ocean. This unusual set of circumstances, for me anyhow, is really what starts him off on his quest to figure out where he came from and what he was doing – his goal. Him discovering his skills and true identity come as a result of his quest for answers.

      Therefor:
      After an assassin wakes up with amnesia in the middle of the Mediterranian Sea, he must fight secret agents to stay alive in order to find out his true identity.

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    4. Singularity

      I believe dpg’s logline attempt on this classic is good. The inciting incident really is when he discovers his assassin skills. I believe that is the event that sets the story in motion.

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    5. Singularity

      If so, then:

      When a man with amnesia realizes he has the skills of an assassin, he must find out his real identity and why others are trying to assassinate him.
      (28 words)

      The Bourne Identity

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    6. Singularity

      I think this was meant to go under ‘Classics’.

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    7. Singularity

      I dunno. ?Seems to mimic the premise of the “Bourne Identity”. ?What makes it fresh and different?

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