A hostile takeover of America causes a couple to stop bickering and start working together.
Ray Star/ingLogliner
A hostile takeover of America causes a couple to stop bickering and start working together.
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Who takes over America?
What must the lead characters do about it?
For instance:
“When America is taken over by massive immigrant caravan, a bickering couple must…” (Then tell us what they must do)
How does “working together” translate into a plot?? What are they “working together” for — what is their objective goal?? Who/what opposes them?? What are the stakes?
Never start a logline with “When such-and-such happens, a person must…” It’s weak. No one cares about events, we care about people. Introduce the people we should care about, what’s happening to them, what they intend to do about it, and what’s at stake if they fail.
If your ending is that they fail, don’t mention that part in the logline – that’s the part people need to read to discover. Nothing wrong with a downer ending, but the goal of a logline is to get people interested enough to read more, and you get people interested by presenting compelling characters with an opportunity to succeed or fail – and the initial interest lies in whether or not they will, or how they will.