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entropyreversal
Posted: July 2, 20122012-07-02T12:14:31+10:00 2012-07-02T12:14:31+10:00In: Public

A jaded old exorcist and strident young atheist stalk a cynical self-help guru who claims she can create personal gods. After guru's gods unexpectedly materialize and kill her at a small-town church seminar, the exorcist and atheist drop their debunking and fight their mutual distrust to get out of the church alive.

First logline here. (Too long?) Blunt and honest comments welcome.

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    2 Reviews

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    1. patrockable
      2012-07-02T15:32:53+10:00Added an answer on July 2, 2012 at 3:32 pm

      A very unique idea. The goal (kill the gods), antagonist (the gods) and stakes (their lives) are all there. But who is the main character, the exorcist or the atheist?

      Cut it down to these bare essentials and keep it at around 25 words or less.

      Here’s my try:

      When a self-help guru’s personal gods materialize and terrorize a church, and jaded old exorcist must destroy them with the help of a young atheist.

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    2. entropyreversal
      2012-07-02T16:46:00+10:00Added an answer on July 2, 2012 at 4:46 pm

      Love the rewrite! I think the exorcist is more vivid in my mind so I think that works. Thanks.

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