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byron79Logliner
Posted: November 13, 20172017-11-13T05:32:15+10:00 2017-11-13T05:32:15+10:00In: Drama

A lonely computer programmer, looking for Mr. Right, is shut down by the government for creating an empathetic AI, so she tries something unorthodox?interacting with a human.

A lonely computer programmer, looking for Mr. Right, is shut down by the government for creating an empathetic AI, so she tries something unorthodox?interacting with a human.
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    5 Reviews

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    1. CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter
      2017-11-13T06:09:16+10:00Added an answer on November 13, 2017 at 6:09 am

      This is a good character study. But you haven?t described the story. There is a few confusing issues as well. How do you shut down a person? They could shut her program, seize her equipment or arrest her.

      Plus you?ll need to connect the two concepts. Creating an AI and finding Mr Right.

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    2. dpg Singularity
      2017-11-13T06:52:07+10:00Added an answer on November 13, 2017 at 6:52 am

      If she wrote the code, she can just reconstitute the AI from scratch or do so from a backup copy of the source code. The only way they can shut her down completely is to imprison her and deny her all access to computers.? And if they do that, she certainly won’t have the freedom to pursue the second plot thread.

      The whole logline doesn’t make sense.

      And IMHO, the logline selects the less interesting plot thread to pursue.? The story hook is that she coded an empathetic AI.

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    3. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2017-11-13T08:45:42+10:00Added an answer on November 13, 2017 at 8:45 am

      Agreed with Craig and DPG.

      There are a few fundamental logic flaws in the premise, however, it does have a few interesting ideas which, in my opinion, are worth exploring.

      It’s worth noting that this is somewhat similar to Her, in that a human falls for an AI, and you’d need to introduce an element to distinguish the two.

      What if, you remove the government element (bit cliche’) and have the woman and AI in love. However, at some point, the AI realizes that he can never fully give her what she needs and goes about setting her up with a real man. I actually think this could be more interesting if told from the AI’s point of view than that of the woman’s. Just a thought.

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    4. Richiev Singularity
      2017-11-13T15:32:55+10:00Added an answer on November 13, 2017 at 3:32 pm

      The end of the logline is a bid of a let down. She creates a thinking robot boyfriend, it’s stolen by the government… So she gives up.

      The goal should be to get back her robot from the secret government agency who now want to use the lifelike robot as a robotic assassin. (Or something like that.)

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    5. Richiev Singularity
      2017-11-13T15:39:38+10:00Added an answer on November 13, 2017 at 3:39 pm

      I only mention the assassin angle because when it comes to any new invention, the government (Any Government) will ask, how can we use this as a weapon. So she creates this wonderful thinking robot to be her loving boyfriend, the government takes it and sees potential to turn it into a lethal weapon.

      But the robot is still in love with the lead character so when she infiltrates the facility to get back her robot, the robot (Who has now been trained to kill) sides with the lead character. Chaos ensues, Bad guys get their just deserts, the lead character and the robot live happily every after.

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