A lonely man in witness protection receives word that his estranged father is dying, and so he must travel back to his home state without being detected by those who want him dead, in order to say goodbye before his father?s time is up.
bpavonePenpusher
A lonely man in witness protection receives word that his estranged father is dying, and so he must travel back to his home state without being detected by those who want him dead, in order to say goodbye before his father?s time is up.
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Is the movie about the road trip home? If that’s the case you have a good logline… if not, you may want to re-write.
If he was deeply devoted to his father, it would be immediately?understandable why he would risk?blowing his cover by taking the trip.? But the logline defines their relationship as estranged.? So what’s his motivation for exposing himself to so much risk (and effort)? and??does that link to his being lonely?
Estrangement, loneliness , threats to his life — the guy is dealing with a lot of issues.? But?the?constraints of a?logline (25 words or less, ideally)? doesn’t?allow?adequate space? to juggle?multiple issues.? It should focus on the most important issue.? What is the most important issue he has to face in taking his road trip?
An intricate concept,? sounds like a series of increasingly troubling events but what is the climax. His father is dying, he’s trying to stay hidden and… This logline seems to be missing something in my opinion.