Logliner
Posted: 2017-04-23T14:19:59+10:00 In:

a loser terrorist wants to go to heaven tries to find the bomb he lost to explode it.

a loser terrorist wants to go to heaven tries to find the bomb he lost to explode it.
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    4 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      What if you switched the stakes around?
      What if an Islamic terrorist changes religions, now in order to go to heaven he must find the bomb he lost in neutralize it instead.

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    2. Uberwriter

      A “But” may fix it. It would give him more challenges. I don’t think it works as a story, but that is because I can see it from the victims side.

      To fix the logline you need a little more. It is just a little simple, which can be okay, but doesn’t quite work here.

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    3. Uberwriter

      As richiev says. I don’t even know where to start with this. Is this a bad guy glorification story?

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    4. Singularity

      In a story the audience must connect with the lead character, They must want him or her to succeed. In your logline he is both a loser and a terrorist neither of which would be endearing to the audience.
      So what this logline needs is something that tells us why we should want the lead to succeed.

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