A lover of all things meat and with selective eating disorder and a christian meets a girl who is a punk rock vegan and an atheist but a pretty punk rocker. She always pressures him to eat veggie burgers and she falls in love with his punk rock friend who everyone thinks is right for her.
fighter200Penpusher
A lover of all things meat and with selective eating disorder and a christian meets a girl who is a punk rock vegan and an atheist but a pretty punk rocker. She always pressures him to eat veggie burgers and she falls in love with his punk rock friend who everyone thinks is right for her.
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You switch protagonist halfway through your logline. You begin from a the point of view of the meat eating christian then the logline switches to the prospective of the straight edge punk rocker. You shouldn’t change the point of view in a logline because it will confuse the reader.
Not only what Richiev said, but after expending all those words setting up the carnivore Christian, the logline seems to be about the vegan punk rocker falling in love with some one else.
????
At 56 words the logline is too long and complicated to figure out what the story is about.
Agreed with the above.
I had to read it a few times just to get my head around what happens and to whom.
Best to re think this concept with one main character and one goal.