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From reading this, it doesn’t seem that the Mobster is the lead character, and a logline should be written from that point of view
So it is either one of the “Two Men” or the “Former child Actor”
Once you narrow that down you need to give that lead character a goal and something needs to be standing in the way of their goal.
I revised it.
I love the logline with the Mobster as the lead character, ?” A ruthless Mobster needs ?to take down a drug lord before he dies.”
Too many commas. Plus it’s like two sentences crammed together into one, with poor grammar. Just give us one clear sentence with no pauses. Never start a logline with “After” or “When”. Start with the protagonist.
What does the kidnapping or the child star have to do with the rest of the story? Doesn’t seem connected at all. In fact none of these story elements are related to each other in any way, at least not as presented. Why must the hitman do these things? Hitmen are bad guys; what makes him the good guy who saves people and does away with other bad guys? Why is there a race against time? What kind of terminal illness kills so quickly? Who is “him”? What is the actual story here? This needs structure and clarity.
I again revised it.
1) He was kidnapped by drug lords.
2) He must rescue him.
3) He has cancer.
4) He is a mobster.