The Quest. Black Comedy, 30 min tv episodes
A materialistic real estate agent must convince the ghost of his deceased controlling mother to let him sell the old family house to a yoga teacher he loves.
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One thing that would help this logline is to include the stakes. What happens if the protag isn’t able to convince his mother to let him sell the house? Will he lose the girl he loves? Will his mother’s ghost torment his soul for eternity? Whatever it is, say it.
One thing that would help this logline is to include the stakes. What happens if the protag isn’t able to convince his mother to let him sell the house? Will he lose the girl he loves? Will his mother’s ghost torment his soul for eternity? Whatever it is, say it.
Sounds like a good idea for a family comedy.
I would add that this logline could benefit from specifying an inciting incident that prompts him to need to convince the mother’s ghost. This would raise the stakes for him and add weight to his need.
For example:
When a materialistic real estate agent falls in love with a poor yoga teacher he must convince the ghost of his controlling mother to let him sell the old family home to her so she can convert it to a yoga studio.
Hope this helps.
Sounds like a good idea for a family comedy.
I would add that this logline could benefit from specifying an inciting incident that prompts him to need to convince the mother’s ghost. This would raise the stakes for him and add weight to his need.
For example:
When a materialistic real estate agent falls in love with a poor yoga teacher he must convince the ghost of his controlling mother to let him sell the old family home to her so she can convert it to a yoga studio.
Hope this helps.
Yep. Stakes, stakes, stakes….I think Nir nailed it! Thank you guys!
Yep. Stakes, stakes, stakes….I think Nir nailed it! Thank you guys!