‘THERE ARE MONSTERS’ ??Writer: Bryan Bertino
A mother and daughter find themselves stranded in the middle of the night on an abandoned road. Deep in the surrounding woods a nightmarish terror stalks them, and they must find the courage to face the beast or be destroyed by it.
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The problem is, you are just describing a scene not really giving us a logline.
Richiev is right. You have to go into the story more, not into 1 part only. Talk about what’s happening during the whole movie.
Condense it down. This will make you find the true nature of your story.
A logline has to be active and tell us about the story, so who is the main character, what is their problem, and what do they have to do to solve that problem?
“After being stranded on an abandoned road in the middle of the night, an estranged mother must save her daughter when an ancient evil with a taste for virgins stalks them through the surrounding woodlands.”
Still flabby, but it gives you a better sense of who the protagonist is and what her internal and external goals are, and what’s at stake for her.
Hope this helps.
A logline has to be active and tell us about the story, so who is the main character, what is their problem, and what do they have to do to solve that problem?
After being stranded on an abandoned road in the middle of the night, an estranged mother must save her daughter when an ancient evil with a taste for virgins stalks them through the surrounding woodlands.?
Still flabby, but it gives you a better sense of who the protagonist is and what her internal and external goals are, and what?s at stake for her.
Hope this helps.