Logliner
Posted: 2016-06-07T08:52:20+10:00 In:

EDITED: A bored flight attendant?s life is turned upside down when she is mistaken for the accomplice of one of her passengers, a charming thief on the run from the mob

EDITED: A bored flight attendant?s life is turned upside down when she is mistaken for the accomplice of one of her passengers, a charming thief on the run from the mob
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    3 Reviews

    1. Samurai

      When a naive flight attendant gets mixed up with one of her passengers, a charming grifter on the run from the mob, she…

      I like the set up, but we are only getting the set up. Finish the logline and tell us what happens.

      • 0
    2. Singularity

      What becomes her objective goal as a result of the relationship? ?What is the dramatic question the rest of the story must eventually answer?

      • 0
    3. Singularity

      This logline is way to vague to grip the reader.

      First; a protagonist should be pro-active. You have not given your lead character a goal.

      Second; I have know idea what, ‘gets mixed up with’ actually means. Is there a specific scam? If so it should be in the logline.

      Because of these two things I don’t have a clear understanding of what the story would actually be about.

      • 0