A no bullshit FBI agent is in a race against time, as he pursuits a corrupt heir to an energy empire, who secretly conspires with the Russian government to melt the worlds ice caps in search of oil.

1) Not that I have a fucking problem with the word ‘bullshit’ but I’ve always felt it better to leave as many crass words out of a logline as possible… ‘bullshit’ being one of the easier ones to find a good substitute for. You may put off the one reader who might be interested simply because she thinks, “That’s the best word he could come up with?”

2) Add that to the punctuation error of worlds vs world’s and the grammatical noun vs verb dilemma of pursuits vs pursues and one might think they are dealing with an amateur.

3)The North Pole is a floating island of ice whereas the south pole is an ice covered continent. I don’t know how you address this in your script but on the surface (of the logline) it looks like you’re suggesting they can get the oil that’s under the ice. This could be true in both cases but you would have to drill the ocean floor in the Arctic. If melting the ice caps aids their plan by raising the worldwide sea level then you might want to include that in the logline somehow otherwise it just looks like you didn’t do your homework.

4) A ‘race against time’ is a bit of a cliche. You’d be better served ‘showing’ a time element.

5) Not sure the Russian connection is needed in the logline. It weakens the power of your protagonist.

Plausibility factors aside, here is my rewrite:

As the shoreline inches closer and closer to his beachfront home an FBI agent must uncover an oil tycoon’s attempt to melt the polar icecaps before the sea covers Florida.

Okay, that one sucks as well, but at least it’s in at thirty words… my personal goal.