?A once-promising former boxer turns to highline crime to provide for his cancer-stricken mother. But when an Aryan Brotherhood kingpin threatens to kill her and the mother of his unborn child, he must find a way out while keeping his family safe.
DavidILogliner
?A once-promising former boxer turns to highline crime to provide for his cancer-stricken mother. But when an Aryan Brotherhood kingpin threatens to kill her and the mother of his unborn child, he must find a way out while keeping his family safe.
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What Richiev said. ? Loglines are only about the main “A” story moving forward from the inciting incident.
I get it that you’re trying to cast a character who makes a bad choice (dealing drugs) with the best of ?intentions (pay for his mom’s medical expenses). ?He’s not such a bad guy, just a flawed one.
?But that’s all in the back story before the plot of the film begins. ?Which means it doesn’t belong in a logline because a logline is only concerned about the plot moving forward, not the backstory looking backwards.
And now he’s trying to get out, go straight ?Why NOW? ? What does his wanting to quit have to do with the kingpin wanting him killed? ?What’s the causal connection? ?Is he trying to get because the kingpin wants him killed? Or is the kingpin out to kill him because he wants to get out of the business?
?Or is it something else that incites the kingpin to want to kill him? ?What’s the real inciting incident? ?For the purpose of a logline (and plot) whatever starts the fight to the finish with the kingpin — that’s the inciting incident. ?Everything else is backstory and prologue.
Again, I would start the logline with the Aryan Brotherhood threatening to kill the mother of his child. I would drop the Cancer angle since it is backstory and does not relate to the goal.